I learned something about my sister today. Something very disappointing and alarming and upsetting. I hope you are all sitting down. . . .Sarahjane..does not like…..beef hot dogs! Yes, I know! I know! How could I be related to her?! But more than the beef hot dog thing. It’s the pain in finding out that my sister, my own flesh and blood, is a picky eater. How could this happen? To be picky is to be ungrateful! If she knew what it was like to truly go without she would not be so picky! What about all the children in Africa? Those little children are starved until they have a serious case of  Stick-Out-Ribs. Those children would eat anything! They would be grateful for whatever they could eat! They are so starving they would even eat dried pickles and coffee beans! And a beef hot dog??? That would be like a king’s feast for those emaciated kids! And Sarahjane turns down a beef hot dog? Why? Because it’s BEEF! She would not be so discriminatory against certain kinds of food if she knew what it was like to go without. If she were grateful. You know what, Sarahjane? That’s just not kosher.

Today Sarahjane and I went to the library together. We got a ride over there, and then we would walk back. It was hard, but I finally convinced her to go with me. I’ve always been a very dedicated reader. My list of things to read is a long one that gets updated frequently. You know folks, I’ve written about a lot of things on here, but this is one of the most important ones. You know, in our time it is so hard to find a good book actually being read. Our economy is suffering and unemployment rates are sky-rocketing! But what about the world of literacy? What about the employment of books? We have amazing technology at our fingertips, right within our reach. And with so many new gadgets and toys to entertain us, it seems we have forsaken our love for books! Book employment rates are at an appalling low! We think it’s hard to get work, but what about the books? What about the books that have been placed back on the shelf, or put into that dark box in storage, or archived in the back of the library? The dusty, the forgotten. The books just want to be read. They just want to be picked up and have their pages turned and their words soaked up. We can help the books. We can solve the issue of book unemployment by simply reading more books! Whether you make a trip to the library, visit a book store, or choose from your own collection of books, just pick up a book and read it today. By reading a book, in a way, you are saving a life. You are saving your life by keeping your brain sharp. You are saving yourself by reminding yourself what joy lies in the pages of a book. You are also saving the life of a book, so to speak. You are rescuing that book from becoming forgotten and forsaken. Is that too much to ask?

I apologize. I realize I have not been doing my duty by frequently posting. That sorry realization came upon me tonight at dinner. My heart is grieved. I have been so blind! How could I not see the pain I’ve obviously inflicted by not writing? How could I not see that I let you all down? So, from here on out, I, Robert James Bartholomew Pardon, vow to be more dedicated to this blog! My lack or dedication to this blog is quite shameful and uncharacteristic of me. But, this is your journey. Your enlightenment on the man beneath the six pack. Who I really am. And yes, believe it or not Readers, I do (very rarely) make mistakes. I too, am human. Now granted, I may be above-average, but I am indeed human, and thus am susceptible to human error. No man is completely exempt from it! So be merciful, but I vow to do my best!

My parents are out of town right now. Ah, how I miss their darling faces! They come back tomorrow. It is their anniversary. 20 years. Wow! They’ve been through a lot, honestly, it’s mostly been from my sister. Keep this under your hat, but she has given them some grief. Sure, Sarahjane is a good girl, at heart. But it has always just seemed that she lacks the passion that she should have, the passion that I have, for doing right, like doing good deeds. I have shared my motto with her many times. But sometimes I fear she is a lost cause. Also the environment. You should hear how she poked fun at me for sharing my birthday with Earth day. A fact I, an Earth-lover, am proud of and she made fun! But at other times, I believe that within enough love, she will change. Dr. Frankenstein was able to tame the creature with love, so I believe I can do the same! So yes, my parents have been married for 20 years now! Congratulations! 20 truly happy years together! Now that folks, that is inspirational. Truly. Those two have just been added to my list of inspirations. They are a model couple and I’m proud of them! And you know, it’s such a joy to know that they have made it thus far because of my guidance. To be a part of something so beautiful! Wow. It’s almost as if it were my anniversary, too!

Hello all. Sorry I have not blogged for so long. I know I have a duty to keep you all informed on my life and entertained, but I must confess that at times, I do get caught up with and consumed in my life. But I extend my sincerest apologies for not making time to share my life with you, the public.

I went soul winning on Saturday. I went with my parents and my sister instead of my usual group, sorry to Craig and the fellows. I missed you almost as much as I am sure you missed me! My dad works in Azuza canyon so we had to leave from soul winning to drop him off at 11 and I went with my family so we could leave on time. You know, many teenagers may have an issue with going with their parents rather than their groupie like I have at church. But even though I knew that Craig, Tommy, Paul, Ryan, all those guys would be so lost and sad without me on their soul winning team, I was glad for the opportunity to go along with my parents and my sister. Side note here, we should take advantage of every moment we have with our loved ones, because honestly, we just don’t know how much longer they have! Let’s face it here, my parents….ah, they’re not exactly in their prime anymore. And my sister…..life expectancy on that one, she’s probably not going to make it past 40! Come on, you all know her! I love the girl folks, but she isn’t exactly the most graceful little thing, and has a tendancy to be a little “injury/accident prone”. That’s how she puts it. But in my opinion, “dangerous” is a more appropriate label.

So, I chose to savor this time I had with my family. We drove over to an area and my parents could not stand to be apart, so they walked together and my sister and I teamed up. What a joy, to be ministering with my sister!

I have a new ministry idea, as well. In these times, it seems so hard to reach people by going door to door. That’s why I have devised a new evangelistic door to door outreach delivery systemized program comittee. The Christian Carolers for Christ. Fondly known as the CCC. Let me explain. The spirit of Christmas is a spirit we should have all through the year, sharing joy and peace with all around us. One of the ways to spread that good cheer is to partake in the sacred and beloved pasttime of caroling. Then why should we not apply that same principal in our door-to-door methods? The Bible commands us to make a joyful noice unto the Lord! It also commands us to GO! So why not combine these commands and these ideas? I cannot think of a better way to give a person the gospel at their doorstep than by knocking on the door, and explaining that we, as honorary members of the CCC have a message to share with them, then starting into a stanza of CCC classics (CCCC?) such as :Amazing Grace, I Surrender All, What a Friend We Have in Jesus, Near the Cross, How Great Thou Art, In the Garden, At the Cross and more! I have yet to try this out, but as founder, creator and director of the CCC, I truly believe it’s worth a try! Who’s with me?!!?!!

I finished off the day with….you guessed it! A good deed! My sister and I arrived back to the car before my parents after we covered our area. The old man and woman just don’t walk as fast as they used to, poor things. But you should’ve seen the way having Jane and me with them brightened up their lives! Anyways, the car was locked when we got there. But, it was slightly cold outside and although Jane had her coat, I just worry. Her being out there in the chilly air like that. No! I won’t stand for it! The drivers window was slightly open. Perfect for me to stick my arm in there and press the unlock button! Which I successfully did! Mission accomplished! But, here is where the situation gets a little sticky. While attempting to pull my arm out of the window opening, it seems that my bicep was hindering it from coming out! Yeah….I work out a little bit. I don’t want to brag but, it was to the point where my muscle was too large to allow my arm to come out. So I had to wait until my parents came back. I expected sympathy. I expected thanks for my good deed on behalf of my sister. But I received neither of the above. Instead, I got pointed at. Laughed and ridiculed. Teased and shamed! I had a good mind to just pull my arm out, but in order to do that my muscle would flex and my bicep would shatter the window, and saving face would not be worth that! So I accepted the ridicule. They let me out of my prison. But here is a word to all of you aspiring good-deeders. Sometimes when you try to do what’s right, people will mock and ridicule you. But if you are doing the right thing, it’s worth it! Just remember….to do a good deed, and….well, you know the rest.

~Namaste~

In this day and age good deeds are rarely comitted. But do you know what I think?  I think that’s just sad. So my motto is:  “Do a good deed and keep off the weed!” Yeah, I think that pretty much sums up how we all need to live. Every day. 24/7, 365. That’s how I’ve chosen to live.

People often say I remind them of Ghandi. I also get a lot of MLK, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Theresa, also Denzel Washington but that’s beside the point. I have made a decision to make a difference in the world, and I have drawn qiute a following…like a giant magnet. People flock to me and my motto. You didn’t hear this from me…but there have been murmurings of the Nobel Peace Prize coming my way…..just a rumor but *shrug and smirk*…who’s to say?

Today I accomplished my good deed with flying colors….if I do say so myself. My great great aunt Marie is visiting my grandmother and then they will go away for the weekend (I will miss them). They were going out for pizza and none of the rest of my family was able to go. They told me, “Are you sure you want to go? It’s going to be me (grandma) and Aunt Marie and Mel. Just three old ladies. We’re not much fun for you!” But you know, it’s not always about me. Would I have more fun staying home and doing push-ups and pumping iron? Of course….but they would have more fun if I went along. For Pete’s sake……these Golden Girls aren’t as young and spry as they used to be and if I can add a little glimmer of sunshine to their life…..why wouldn’t I? A great wise man once said “One step for man, one GIANT step for man-kind.” And in that way….this is a couple hours and 6 slices of San Biagio’s pizza for me…..but for them…..it’s the difference between dreary retirement and blissful sainthood! These are senior SAINTS!! Saints of the Lord and that means God expects us to take care of them, and He blesses us more when we take a couple hours out of our day to light up their life.

I just hope that all of you will learn a lesson from this post.

Do a good deed, and stay off the weed!!!

Shalom~

*Disclaimer: Do NOT continue to read this post if you are a fearful person, sensitive about injuries, have a weak stomach, have a weak heart, pregnant, may become pregnant, have a weak bladder, have over-active tear ducts, have ever bleached your hair, are diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, may possibly be afflicted with bi-polar disorder, get jealous when reading about my amazing life, have ADHD, or have ever eaten a rose petal. …….

I have some frightening news to tell you all. Now brace yourself and make sure you are sitting down when you read this. . . . .I broke my finger!!! But no need to swoon or call 911 or cry (although thank you for your loyal affection and concern for me!). It all started Wednesday night at Matt’s house.  Here’s how it all went down:

Lauren, Sarahjane, Matt and I had just finished putting away Life, and were just “chillaxin'”, as the kids say these days. The girls were talking about….I don’t know. My guess is how adorable I am, but who’s to say?! I looked over at Matt, and my ninja sense kicked in. You see folks, I am so tuned into myself, that I can sense what other people are about to. I could tell right away that he was planning an attack….but I determined to make the first move! So in one fluid movement, I lept up and grabbed the (air-soft) gun! POW!!! Now this is not bragging…I cannot stand bragging! But the fact is…I have above-average aim! So of course the bullet shot straight at him and took him down! He flew back up and karate chopped me! No, I am not above telling you all that he got me. The little Asian man does have fighting skills that are impressive. Very impressive indeed. Next thing you know, the women-folk are screaming and running out of the room….yes this is WAR!!! He keeps trying to wrestle the gun out of my hand, but even though he is a worthy opponent, he is not quite up to the level of skill that one must needs be at in order to over-take me! Again he lunges at me and attempts to wrestle the gun from my hand! Suddenly… a diversion and Matt is successful in his attempt to steal my weapon (which is actually his but I took from him!)! My attention is brought back to the fight as he revels in his victory, and pain shoots through my body! But no, I cannot show my weakness! Here is a tip for you: Never, NEVER show a weakness! Your opponent must not know where to strike! With Matt distracted with what he thinks to be his victory, I take the opportunity to move past him and assess the source of my pain…my finger! Hm, as I examine it, I notice it is quite swollen and turning purple. But I decide not to go to the hospital. I see no need to place my life into the hands of those so called “doctors”. They are up to no good I tell you! So I wear a splint. I do believe it is broken, but it’s not the first time it has been broken.  When you live a demanding, on the edge life as I do, breaking bones is not a rare occurence! Some people have advised that I do not play in the game tonight, that I could even get hurt worse. And while I appreciate their concern, I must say NO! No I will NOT retreat! I refuse to forsake my teammates in their time of need, for the homecoming game! Sure, I may be in pain! Sure, there is a strong chance that I could do more damage to my broken finger! But the Lions, they are worth it! I risk it all for them! All I hope, my desire for tonight is that when they see me show up tonight, that they will be filled with inspiration! That they will see my determination and perseverence and it will motivate them to FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT tonight! That they (both Lions and Lady Lions) will go out there and play their best until we WIN! Until we are triumphant! Go Lions! You GO!!!

Tonight Mom and Dad went to the mission in L.A. I got to go to Pro Bass Shops  with my grandparents for Papa’s birthday.

As we were chill-axing at the store, I looked over at my grandpa. And honestly…the man hardly looks a day over 27……..right. But He’s getting up there, 63 this year. He is telling everyone he’s 62, but he is 63. The family is teasing him for that, and saying he is in denial, but I think they are wrong. I think there is more to it than that. The average person, the unknowledgeable onlooker may not notice, but it is not denial that causes this man to say he is a year younger than he actually is. Nor is it forgetfulness from old age. Nay, I hereby declare that it is none of the above. This man, who now in his old age is getting ridiculed for his “denial”, is attempting to turn back the clock because of a zeal, and a joyous thirst for life which no Big Gulp can quench. No matter how many trips you make to 7-11.  He wants to live life to the fullest, and is feeling that he did not quite glean everything he could from the age of 62, so must relive it. He is giving himself opportunity to experience more, grow more in “one year” than any other man has. . . .ever!  As I watched his weathered face light up like a child’s when he saw the fishing boats, and the guns, and the ginormous animal busts that line every inch of wall and ceiling at Pro Bass (his fave crash-site), I could tell that there is still young, 62 year old man in this 63 year old body, and so he has no other choice, so it seems, to revert back a year, to fully experience and fully thrive on 62! Learning and growth and experience should never be suffocated nor ruled out because you’re a year older. So while the judgmental onlookers clench their fists and throw punches with their witty, sarcastic comments about his “denial”, I say “Thank you, sir. Thank you grandfather for teaching me that you are never too old to be a year younger”. By holding himself back a year for more experience and fulfillment, he has leapt onto my list of Inspirations! Thank you, sir, indeed.

We had games today. First the girls played. They were amazing, I swear I am so proud of those girls! When I watch them play, I imagine that is how I may feel some day, watching my own children as they finally tie their shoes without help, or ride their bike without their training wheels, successfully parallel park for the first time, or make a delicious pot of coffee, and so on. I get a glimpse, a very small glimpse of that when I watch them play. I know that I had a part in that-all of us guys did (see last entry)-and it just makes me think, “Wow, Robb! Without even knowing it, you have become a part of something big…bigger than you, than your muscles, bigger than your house, bigger than the world!”, and that “big” thing is the Lady Lions. They are a special group, that’s for sure. I know that I, myself am their inspiration, and I am honored, honestly. But in being inspired by me, they in turn have inspired me! The tables have turned, the master has become the student, so to speak. And even though I am still the master, it’s a nice thought. So after watching the girls dominate, running onto the court I already felt like a champion! The battle had already been won, and you Lady Lions, you may now feel like you are a part of something, because after me being your inspiration and hero for so long…you were now finally able to give back!
Well, other than that. My amazing father brought me chewy sweetarts, which were awesome, to say the least! And I of course enjoyed them more because I got to share them with my favorite person in the whole world…..my sister of course!

And tomorrow night I am pretty psyched. Sarahjane and I are going over to a friends house and we are finger painting and watching a movie. It will “most def” be “legit” and I am “stoked” about this “stellar” night. But I am disheartened about this weekend. My sister is house-sitting for the Harvey’s this weekend and will be gone for 4 days! I know she is glad for the opportunity, but I cannot be happy about it! How I will miss her! Hold on, *No Mom! I am NOT crying! I have something in my eye!!!* Sorry, I am back. Ahem….So, as I was saying, glad to be rid of the little brat! Yea, and 4 days isn’t really that long. . . .
I better go. *No, Mom! I do NOT need tissue, I am fine!!!*

Today the Lady Lions had a game at Victor Ville, Bible Baptist, whatever you wanna call it. That is my grandma’s church, so my wonderful sister and I took the bus down with the team and my grandma went down there and watched the game with us. It was really cool to see her, and I know she enjoyed it, too. I mean, she got to see me, so come on! (JK, mostly!) The girls won, of course, they take after our team! Honestly, we, the guys team, that is, we like to think of ourselves as role models for the girls. We see them all watching us during practice, and they may pretend that it’s because we are so handsome, especially when we show off our amazing athletic skills on the court, but we know it’s more than that. Without a doubt, I am sure they do think we are amazingly athletic and manly, but I know the real reason they watch us. They look up to us, well, Sarahjane does, Heather looks down, but I am speaking figuratively not literally that’s not what I meant. They see our sweet skills, our amazing ball-handling, dribbling skills, stamina, huge muscles (especially the six-pack), and they wish they could have that. I think that when the Lady Lions grow up, they want to be just like us. So that is the real reason I went today. Not to see my grandma, not to hang out with friends, not to be with my adorable sister. NO! None of that, simply to encourage the girls. To look them in the eye, and shake their hand after the game and say the words they are longing to hear, “Good Game”. To offer motivation and inspiration. That, and that alone, is why I went. That’s just who I am. I hope that some day, they will be able to be a role-model for some other poor, lost child, as I have been for them! You go, Lady Lions, you go girls!

One day I was online reading some blogs. It was pretty interesting. Not the reading part of course, but there were a lot of pictures posted, and I like looking at those. But then it dawned on me. All these wicked awesome people have blogs. Jay has one with about 50 different pages to read and his blog has been viewed 10,000 times going on a bazillion! And T-Dawg has a blog, and his blog is almost as cool as Jay’s. So many cool people have a blog, but the coolest one is my sister. Her blog is so cool, and I started to get really jealous! I wondered why I didn’t have a blog that people would read and comment on? Why am I not popular like these people? Then I remembered, I DON’T HAVE A BLOG!!! So that is why I am here. I have great plans for this blog. I know that I have this really rough, wild-man exterior. I know I am so big and strong that some people are too intimidated to talk to me, but underneath this rugged, athletic man with an amazing head of hair, I am a real person, almost like you. I sleep at night, I eat 5 meals a day just like a normal person, I do school, annoy my beautiful sister whom I love so much, I mean, on the inside, folks, I am just an above-average 15 year old. So I want you all to read this blog with an open mind as you see The Man Beneath the Six-Pack!